Mike Tigas | miketigas.com

Finished applying to Wash. U., because I got tired of sitting on it. It was actually complete, I just hadn’t edited it 1040914 times yet. So I glanced over it and submitted it when I had Mom proofread it, too. (I forgot to get my rec form from O’Hearn (counselor) the day of school, though. She said she’d have it and give it to me Friday if I stopped by, which I totally forgot to do.)

Have not started writing the draft of my research paper, which I should. I also should write, because the current events in the Indian Ocean and the massive outpouring of goodwill and charity regarding.

(01:43:37) Me: i’ve IMed 3 people and got a quick response from Megan (then convo died again) and then a late one from you.
(01:43:47) Me: really, i’ve been sitting here, blankly staring at the screen
(01:44:04) Rashaad: rofl, that’s why I RP. The staring becomes waiting
(01:45:23) Me: lol
(01:45:32) Me: the staring is me trying to say something
(01:45:34) Me: and hesitating
(01:45:37) Me: and never saying it
(01:45:41) Me: bah.
(01:45:46) Me: i’ll say things and get it over with.

at which point I said to Megan (after about 10 minutes of deliberating what to say and how to say it)

(01:51:34) Me: I know I said this last night, but… I’m not sure what it was, if it was the way you were dressed or something else about you, but I liked the way you looked yesterday. And even if it wasn’t anything special… I guess…. thanks?
(01:51:37) Me: *bites lip*
(01:51:41) Me: i am so bad at these things.

but that’s not the point of this quotation business. This is. (Back to convo with Rashaad.)

(01:45:57) Rashaad: rofl, good idea. It won’t kill you to say something
(01:46:30) Rashaad: Talk about current events. Like that FUXING EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI THING
(01:47:21) Me: OH!
(01:47:29) Me: That’s why I need to work on my research paper.
(01:47:37) Me: = charity and such.
(01:47:54) Me: The media and the “good will” towards the whole badness of the event.
(01:48:03) Me: Some people really do care, and that’s good.
(01:48:10) Me: Some groups will only care because it makes them look good to care.
(01:48:18) Rashaad: That’s awful stuff
(01:48:27) Rashaad: Everyone needs to pour out to these people
(01:48:30) Me: And regardless of either one, some people will do things that will have no effect on fixing anything.
(01:48:47) Me: The money issue is interesting because
(01:48:50) Me: actually, nevermind.
(01:48:59) Me: The money would go more to productive stuff in this.
(01:49:27) Me: But in general with certain things, more money goes to the people working rather than the victims themselves.
(01:49:38) Me: But in a disaster event, it’s important to get outside people working in the environment to help rebuild.
(01:49:43) Me: So that point becomes moot to me.

Then the conversation ended with him and me trying to sound somewhat profound. XD

Have read a mere 53 pages out of 880 of The Brothers Karamazov… The pages have small fonted text and many more lines than any other book on the AP Lit list… Why must I persist on making things difficult for myself? Ah, but Dostoevsky (and the translators) have such good writing style for someone like me. It’s like reading my blog, at times, except without all angst, and more story-like. Really what I mean to say is that he writes in what seems to be stream of conciousness–but everything’s really part of the story–and he seems to go into distant tangents–but they all tie in to whatever point he’s making at the moment. So yeah. It is similar to but nowhere near the same as the incoherence of my blog–he’s quite coherent most of the time, although the style and context and complexity seem to make it hard to see it.

1 page of Brothers Karamazov is like maybe 1.5-2 pages of Catch-22. And the issue there is that Catch-22 was only one hundred something pages.

Therefore, I shouldn’t be wasting my time with this book. Though I most definitely am. But it’s not due until 15 or 17 January, anyway.

Started meddling around with Java again after a good (more than) two week hiatus. Tried getting GCJ to work (doesn’t do byte code, just makes a straight machine code executable which is cool) and failed.

Tried using KDE for a few days as my desktop environment… I use too many GTK-based programs for the KDE spiffy UI stuff to work well… So I switched back to Gnome today. Don’t get me wrong, KDE is very pretty (next paragraph), but I can’t tear myself away from Firefox (Konquerer sucks) or GAIM (Kopete wouldn’t even run) or Thunderbird. Therefore, 80% of my application usage wouldn’t even have the spiffy effects anyway. So I decided to just give up on it.

(”KDE is very pretty…” - all menus (the “start menu” and all file/edit/view menus) can have transparency, the window borders are more customizable, and everything seems more… skinnable. More available skins for KDE, and they do more advanced things.)

I should also work in advance on the honors problem for Calc, seeing as she told us what she was going to give us the Monday we get back. (Prove the derivatives for the inverse trig functions (arccos, arcsin, etc.), if I remember correctly.)

*submits* God, I wrote this up like, 2 hours ago, and then what happened was laziness and forgetfulness.

So I decided to go eat and if I threw up, then at least I figured out which of the two it was. (See previous post.)

Had some ice cream, watched some Die Hard: With A Vengeance (Bruce Willis rocks), and burned a new MP3 cd for my CD player. Now I’m still up. And I should’ve been asleep at 1-something, because that’s what I was shooting for. -.-

[04:56:16] Megan: and why did you lie to me about feeling better? *points at the blog in annoyance*
[04:56:38] Me: erm?
[04:56:45] Me: i’m better.
[04:56:56] Me: i wrote that stuff during whatever was going on.
[04:57:06] Megan: well fix it…make it happier…
[04:57:22] Me: lol…
[04:57:24] Me: hrm…
[04:57:26] Me: let’s see…

See, I’d write about how I want to see her and what we’d do and everything, but then everyone would probably vomit at the corniness of it or something. Or worse, I’d sound like some horny bastard.

She needs me and I need her, and that’s the best way. I mean, even in spite of bad times, I still wish I spent more time with her. (Glenn brought up the point that we never seem to have good times online. Whenever she’s in a decent mood, remember, she doesn’t talk much. When she’s got something to complain about, she’ll go for it. Silence accomplishes nothing online, so I wish I could be there with her in the silence, you know.) And I fall asleep thinking about her. Constantly, still. The bad times wear down on me, but I always put myself together eventually.

I can almost feel her kiss me on the neck, me turning around to hold her, stare her in the eyes, brush her cheek, stroke her hair… Just stare her in the eyes… And then more kissing ensues… And yeah, you’re probably vomiting right now. To say the least, I just wish we were together. Her, right here, with me… That’s all I want right now. Just her presence, the tender look in her eye, and her kiss. Take all my pain away.

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i’d have done something cheesy and easy like make a post that was just a heart or something, but then glenn would kill me or something of the sort. so i figured, i’d be cheesy the way i usually am. heh.

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5am?

this is why i got sick again on christmas. XD